harakiri

i can't even imagine the pain you're feeling right now. what are you supposed to feel or think when someone you love and presume you know decides to put an end to its journey in this spinning sphere? how do you cope with such a thing? how are you supposed to react? how do you get on with your life? how do you keep away the crushing guilt? the "i should have seen it coming" ringing in your ears? how do you bury someone you love? how does your heart resume its incessant beating? i sure as hell wouldn't like to know. it's painful enough to see you. it's painful enough to imagine it.