sun sets, the furnace rests

it was as if someone drained the energy out of my limbs. i feel like a north-american indian afraid of losing its soul by taking snapshots of my life. this must be one of the darkest ones. i think i'm still in denial. "this can't be true, this is not really happening, surely". i just skipped rage and went straight to the acceptance phase. "i'm afraid it is very much real. i'd like to tell you that it's just a bad dream, that you'll wake up any minute now. but i just can't do that. you know, i'm living inside this dark space as well. and we have to agree in most (if not all) things we see. and stop calling me Shirley!" think positive. it could have been a lot worse. true. but that doesn't make it better. besides, what's life without some suffering?

"oh brother, i can't believe it's true. i'm so scared about the future and i wanna talk to you" - (if only you could understand what just happened...)