music slowly creeping in...

The Arcade Fire - "Funeral"

trust your senses?

what the eyes do not see
the ears do not listen
the nose does not smell
the hands do not touch
the lips do not taste
the heart can never love...

back...

de volta a Londres, a precisar de férias das férias. ou melhor ainda, a precisar de férias desta vida...

wake up call

it happens much too fast
no time for it to flash before your eyes

either that or there's really nothing there to see...

broken record...

stop bothering me with the same subject on and on and on
like a broken record playing the same note all the time
of all people, you should understand forgiveness

this just makes me not want to come back
it was supposed to be a week without worries
but, thanks to you this day is ruined

i don't know if you've noticed
but the cord is long gone
and this type of attitude doesn't bring it back...

pérola...*

...à minha espera na FNAC (passe a publicidade). tanto tempo à procura de um CD deles em Notting Hill e encontro logo 2 quando chego a Portugal. será que terei tempo de visitar a Carbono em busca de mais raridades? veremos...

*Death Cab for Cutie - we have the facts and we're voting yes

"...tough ain't enough..."

quase com uma directa em cima, lá consegui finalmente ver o "Million Dollar Baby", o multi-galardoado do Clint Eastwood.
finalmente percebi um post da Pipocas sobre o filme. a beleza de ir para uma sessão de cinema com informações escassas sobre o filme é mesmo esta: por vezes somos surpreendidos.
estava apenas à espera de um filme "à americana", em que o herói (neste caso do sexo feminino) ultrapassa ventos e marés para alcançar o seu sonho. tudo parecia estar a correr como previsto até àquele momento trágico e revoltante. a partir daí começa realmente o filme, o questionar de muitas opiniões que temos alicerçadas dentro de nós.
quase num tom premonitório em relação ao que se passa neste momento em terras do Tio Sam, a eutanásia entra no ringue. e tal como a protagonista, deixa-nos KO no primeiro assalto. porque ninguém pode ser a favor da morte de outro, mas ninguém pode negar que a vida tem de manter um mínimo de dignidade.

o filme é marcante e, apesar de não ter visto mais nenhum dos restantes candidatos, acredito que tenha merecido todos os Óscares que levou para casa.

deixou-me uma frase há algum tempo esquecida: some die just to live...

e a 24 horas...

...da pátria mãe. mais uma viagem de volta a Portugal para uma semana de "descanso", reencontro de família e amigos.
a sensação crescente de não pertencer a lugar nenhum, mas ao mesmo tempo estar bem em qualquer lado.
assim se passaram 6 meses. o sentimento de emigrante já se instala, com as ocasionais saudades da gastronomia, paisagens e sol e a eterna frase "eu hei de voltar qualquer dia...". mas cada vez menos o horizonte futuro se assemelha com Portugal...

once more, but with feeling

trains going into tunnels
rockets plunging into space
flowers blossoming
drills ravaging the earth looking for oil
nails driven into wooden planks
champagne bottles bursting open
and the final fireworks

it'll happen again,
hopefully with feeling...

"later...now i just wanna sleep"*

mais uma vez
o esforço
para conter as lágrimas
dentro de mim
enquanto
calcorreava
as ruas

always stapled in my brain and it never rusts...

*eventually we all have to face the past

"...was their best, good enough?..."*

walls cannot restrain the emotions involved, so why use them? a small town isolated from the world, yet still carrying the same flaws in a lower scale. the frailty of people, the abuse on someone they vowed to protect. a fugitive taken hostage of the perversity of people. humiliated repeatedly. driven to numbness to cope with losing her own humanity. after all, kindness wanted something in return, no matter what it took.

every action has a consequence. there’s always a price to pay. no excuse can possibly justify stripping every single trace of dignity from another human being, regardless of where you’ve come from or what you have endured.

their best was clearly not good enough…

*or on how a small 1930's town in the middle of the Rocky Mountains can be a parable of modern times

bau

carta no cimo da mesa azul
sorriso pueril e furo no sapato
laço azul e abraço de amizade
correria no labirinto escavado
som estridente do 48
bola saltitando na rua
derrapagem quase fatal
urbe desconexa e aldeia litoral
pêlo a branquear com teimosia
toque fatal consecutivo
encosto inocente e transbordar da barragem
abrir dos botões e suavidade nos dedos
central nuclear diariamente despercebida
caminho aberto descartado
mudança fraternal mesmo ao lado
rasgar do guião e confusão geral
asas pesadas
vôo demorado
papel em branco perpétuo

fuse

keep feeding me gasoline, keep putting it into my system
it's what keeps me going on and on and on
fill it up until the top
but please keep me away from fire...

ipod therefore i am?

perseguido pela falta de inspiração e depois de ter lido este post da Inês e de aguentar todos os dias com as centenas de pessoas que andam de ipod em riste pelo "tube" londrino, decidi pôr a minha sorte à prova.

portanto, e antes que o tédio dê cabo de mim, aqui fica a "party shuffle" da minha iTunes library...

Damien Rice - "Volcano"
Rádio Macau - "Amanhã é sempre longe demais"
Ash - "Burn baby burn"
Little Hat Jones - "Bye bye baby"
Reef - "Put your hands up"
The Pixies - "Where is my mind"
Marylin Manson - "Sweet dreams" (cover Eurythmics)
Marylin Manson - "The KKK took my baby away" (cover Ramones)
Muse - "Interlude"
Brian Eno - "By this river"
Pearl Jam - "Every day" (cover Buddy Holly)
The Ataris - "In this diary"
The Postal Service - "Natural anthem"
Zwan - "Honestly"
Death Cab for Cutie - "Champagne from a paper cup"
Clã - "Madalena em contrição"
Rufus Wainwright - "Memphis skyline"

muito estranho o facto de ter 3 covers numa lista tão pequena, mas o random do iTunes é um fenómeno por si só que qualquer dia é capaz de merecer um post...

tgif...

spring roses

my little child
why should you be sad
when the world outside blossoms like spring roses?
the sun shines on every single one of us
all is perfect
and the good guys always win
so, just wipe your eyes
dry your salty tears
get over your childish fears and stroll back outside
don't ever hide your face again
and get on with your life

hearts, eyes, hands, minds...

hearts unite in unspoken sadness
eyes stare into the void ahead
hands grasp something rock solid around
minds start racing through confused thoughts
until they find a common ground to start from

lost at sea
waiting to reach the shore of a distant land
drifting inside and outside
testing concepts rooted deep within
trying to break the invisible wall around
sending messages in broken bottles
that sink within close range
lost in a forgotten sea
forever lost in me

hearts burn with anticipation
eyes glance across the room
hands reach towards the goal
minds open up and spill their content
until they find a common ground to start from

Dia da Mulher?

não enquanto o mundo estiver povoado de atrocidades destas...

"from hell and back: Tanjas' true story" (ITV1 8th March 2005)
the true story of a woman that was a sex slave to her own father for 23 years

mais um rude golpe na minha (cada vez mais ténue) fé na humanidade...

unicorn

the sense of adventure and the mystery behind your existence has drawn me towards you, but now i understand that unicorns were never meant to be caught by anyone. you should always remain distant and unattainable. that is the price you have to pay for your remarkable beauty. the burden carried alone and not to be shared. i have my own. seeing you everyday while i'm awake, dreaming of you every night. always from a distance.

snowball

cold winter days extend into even colder nights
and as the snow falls from the cloudy skies
people rejoice in snowballs
throwing them all around
back and forth in an endless merry-go-round
as love fills the air

(e)motion

the clock screams at me every single day
a brief reminder of what lies ahead
a face-off like in westerns
on empty streets bleeding gunshots
will i be able to just walk away from it?
will i try to reach for the gun?
if so, what will i aim when i shoot?
myself or someone else?

feelings change as the weather
and it's never been so cold...

metal wings steering me home
back into an ocean of doubt
without any lifeline to help me
i fear i may end up drowning
forever trapped within
whatever is inside me

distances grow like grass
and it's never been so green...

it'll always be like this
branches on the other side of the tree
will continue growing
this side will remain in the shade
watching flowers in bloom
old roots starting to go
and the seeds falling in sterile ground

illusions disappear with time
and it's never been so clear...

got to keep in motion
got to keep the (e)motion
in my heart

the information age is upon us

A billion people died on the news tonight
But not so many cried at the terrible sight
Well mama said
It's just make believe
You can't believe everything you see
So baby close your eyes to the lullabies
On the news tonight

Who's the one to decide that it would be alright
To put the music behind the news tonight
Well mama said
You can't believe everything you hear
The diagetic world is so unclear
So baby close your ears
On the news tonight
On the news tonight

The unobtrusive tones on the news tonight
And mama said

Why don't the newscasters cry when they read about people who die?
At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in their eyes
Mama said
It's just make believe
You cant believe everything you see
So baby close your eyes to the lullabies
On the news tonight

jack johnson - "the news"

stop, rewind, pause, play...

trying to make sense of what i've been doing for the past month... analysing every black and white picture, hoping to spot something that was overseen the first time. monday the data will speak once more. new questions, new challenges. all i need is someone to point me the right way to go. the rest is up to me...

-10ºC

the city is frozen, surrounded by a blanket of snow. cold weather brings back old memories buried deep down inside. too painful to mention. too real to forget. back when days seemed to last for an eternity and the world was all i wanted it to be. when i was just a little kid.
i guess my innocence died that day. it's really true what they say, "he who forgets will be destined to remember". will i ever make amends with it? no matter what i do, i can never go back and undo what i've done. and that's what hurts me the most. what makes me cry myself to sleep every now and then. until we meet again.
-10ºC. as cold as my heart was...

"...what's the worst thing you've ever done?..."

there isn't a single day
i don't think about it
if regret killed
i'd be long gone
and yesterday
it resurfaced
to bring tears
to my eyes
once again...

sepia

trovador negro
com tua alma pálida
e face cansada
arremessas palavras ao vento
doridas
com o peso da mágoa que carregas no peito
o tórax transforma-se numa prisão
com costelas como barras de ferro
que prendem o teu coração
cansado
a memórias que te queimam
com o seu sabor agridoce
tua pauta impressa a sangue
contem as melodias que assombram
o teu corpo
e todos os que te rodeiam

pousa a cabeça e dorme
sonha
com tempos que passaram
e que hão de vir
guarda as fotografias a sépia
e corre para o rio de côr
que se abre à tua frente

not today

flowers will blossom on endless fields
children will laugh with innocence in their eyes
the sun will shine over idyllic landscapes
lovers will lay in a neverending embrace
rain will soak barren dry lands
old men will share wisdom on a park bench
winds will blow away the autumn leaves
young girls will dream of future boyfriends
snow will freeze the beauty of a winter night
crowds will gather for a noble cause
music will echo through a packed concert hall
pets will patiently await their owner's arrival
a million stars will shine in a warm summer evening
the world will keep on turning
but just not today...