post recycling

all of you, always silent...

all of you silently standing next to me, watching me as i gaze at the stars. dreaming of a different life, of a different situation. hoping to stop time, to get the chance to say what burns you from the inside before i stray. and i sit there, with a strange feeling inside, a turmoil of thoughts. changing everytime i look around, everytime i see your eyes and face. sometimes i hope you would break the chains that hold you. sometimes I'm afraid of what that outburst might cause. one thing's for sure, the doubt remains. time won't change a thing. it's only a test given by the gods above, the kind that gets more difficult as you go along. maybe if we wait long enough... maybe the waiting is what it's really all about. nobody knows what the future holds, but you'll be in it for sure. in the meantime i'll try to get to know all of you better, try to tip the scales one way or the other. making up my mind. trying to find the courage to open up and speak up. fill the air with what's going inside my mind. sharing. experiencing. living.

maybe someday the doubt will be cleared... i hope so...

written on the 25th Sept 2004 (and initially posted on the shortlived livejournal), 2 days before i came to london. it's strange to read your own words and remembering what you felt at the time...