"the thing that i've become"

the clock pauses once again its motion
fragments of lost time float around
in my dimly lit cell
flashes of the past come and go
the unchanged smell and taste of blood
spilling through the open wound
eyes gradually losing their glowing life
the surprised look perpetually preserved
in the form of a lifeless body
the ritual complete
voices agreeing at last
now everything is different
everything has changed
the choir is gone and all it's left is the voice
that keeps screaming in my head
"how could you?"
"why?" and
"what for?"
voicing the guilt that has put me here
voicing the regret i lacked
until i saw the tunnel funneling in
and the flicker of light living on borrowed time
now i hear you
now i know
you exist
i just found out the hard way